Reviewing My Old Stories
by Stormshadow3
Summary: (Discontinued. Never to be picked up again.) Beware: the worst fanfictions and stories you can ever think of await you on this journey. Or, you know, just read my other stories. Same thing, really.
1. Introduction

**I had been writing a long, long time ago. Some of them were fanfics (barely any), and most of them were random stories I made up on the spot. Some were boredom survival guides and still most of them were diaries and journals. Yeah, we're gonna be reading my diary... *cracks knuckles***

 **The point is, we're gonna be reviewing all of them. Well, as much as I could scavenge, anyways. I never finished any story, although I got close to doing that one time... unfortunately, it was written on binder paper and remains lost to this day. Mostly, I'm excited. I've never seen anyone do this type of thing before.**

 **One of them was actually a warrior's fanfiction, but just in case, here is a filler story. It's called Story of My Life, and no, it's not related to the song.**

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My whole life, I had been hoping. Wishing, dreaming. Hoping. Hoping that my mother would be proud of me and say, "Here's my kit... she's gorgeous, isn't she? Got warrior spirit from the moment she was born..."

When I was an apprentice, I wanted to become a great warrior, serving my clan in duties and that I would be respected, admired, a role model; someone who would be recognized as an important figure in our history.

When I became a warrior, I was a proud little she-cat. Tail up, head straight, tall poseur. Now I wanted to be a senior warrior; from the time I was just a little kit, I wanted to be different. I wanted to be special!

I shot up the ranks quickly. From senior warrior to mentor, from mentor to deputy. Then one day, Dewstar died. I- I was overjoyed, even after I kept reminding myself that it was supposed to be a sad time. But it didn't matter. I would finally be a leader!

Now, I had my eyes set on the forest.


	2. The Terrible-Ness Begins

**Here we go. Note: This was made four years ago, when I barely knew how to speak English (and anyways, I was in second grade, and yes, English is not my native tongue). This is the oldest copy of anything that I ever wrote that I still have today. This will be disastrous...**

 **HERE IS THE GUIDE:**

Plain: the original text

Bold: my comments

Underline: other

 **Some of the stories I will be doing a rewrite of. Those are the ones that I feel deserve another chance.**

* * *

Title: No title... 

Type: Diary

Time it was written: Four years ago

Other: Here is what was scribbled very messily on the front page: the state, the city, my full name, my first name, and my last name.

CHAPTER 1: THE STORES IN THE SPRING BREAK **Grammatical errors! No spelling errors so far, which is good...**

Today is the first day of spring break. And I'm very excited. **Great, short sentences! Well, at least I knew how to spell... *wipes sweat off*** My grandparents came to the United States of America. So they didn't know about the stores. **Um, what does stores have anything to do with this? Shopping spree? Oh, yeah, my parents loved shopping.** And today my mom and dad lead them what is in the stores, each store. **Please, shut up about stores, Your Majesty, forgive me!** First, we went to the shoe store. **Probably because I already lost every single one that I had; oh, what a messy little girl I was back then.** But it was closed. **Well, that would have been useful to know before I wasted a whole two seconds of my life typing about shoe stores!** Next, we went down to a library. My mom told my grandfather that you can drink cofee in it. **First spelling error! *takes notes*** Then, we went to a store called Any Mountain. It have many clothes wear outside the door. **Correction: It has many clothes fit for outdoor use. My past self was very bad at this, please excuse her.** Last, we went up to the Bed and Beth. **I'm pretty sure that was spelled wrong, too.** It was very crowded inside.

Have a great spring break! **0.0 Teller of the future... NO! This book is cursed! My past self knew I was going to come flipping in here! *sweats heavily* The curse of the forbidden diary...**

CHAPTER 2: MY ALMOST NEW HOUSE

About 12 o' clock, my family dressed up and ready to go to my new house. I told my grandfather there was a big mountain on the way. **Climbing over mountains and sailing over seas...** First, we dashed out the door. **Liked how you didn't say 'we ran out the door.'** We rushed in to the car. We out of the parking lot. Oh, I forgot to say my car is ***insert car license plate number* You didn't think I was gonna give that away, did you?** I thought it was very great. **Yeah, great license plate.** I look out the window and see the road. **What else can you see?** First we are on road ***insert name of road* Of course I'm not giving that either... STALKER** I told my grandfather how beautful is my new house. **Spelling mistakes... *scribbles notes*** Because I have been see it before my grandmother and grandfather come to the United States of America. There was a room for me, a room for my father and mother, one for them. **Please just refer to it as the US. "Father and mother..." Jesus, what do they teach you?**


	3. More of My Diary

**Here we are again! This time, we'll be starting from where we left off last chapter. I'm excited!**

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CHAPTER 3: THE FUNNY THINGS ABOUT FOODS

Today is the third day of spring break. **Good for you!** Mom said **thank goodness for "mom"** we will have a big pizza for lunch. But I think that pizza is not so good at all. **What? Traitor! *warrior cries*** Because when I open the oven, we see the pizza dripping like water. **Well, drink the water!** Because this pizza is not very hard. **I have no comments whatsoever on this sentence.** Mom carefully take out the pizza. Then the bell rang. I run to answer it. **Run, Forest, run!** I see it was my dad. **Thank goodness for "dad," too.** Coming to home to eat lunch. I told my father **GODDAMMIT** that the pizza is dripping like water, because the pizza is not so hard. ***clap clap*** Mom said I'm a tattle tale. **?**

This afternoon my mom cut the fish. It is rotten. **Good to know.** My grandfather slowly walks to kitchen and help. **I can imagine that.**

CHAPTER 4: THE KEY OF MY NEW HOUSE

In noon, my mom and dad **Yay!** said they are going to take the key. **Ooh, mystery.** Then, they dashed out the door and drive to my house. **I noticed that I liked using "dashed" a lot.** Just because my grandfather and grandmother. **What did they ever do to you?** I don't have to followed them. Unlucky.

But guess what? **What?** Did everybody know what is the shape of the key? **No, dummy.** It is beautiful or ugly? **Ugly.** I did too.

The answer is: **This isn't a trivia question!** a shiny beautiful key. It has a million gold dots on the key. No, not key. Like this:

*ugly picture of key*

CHAPTER 5: THE ANGRY BIRD GAME **Oh, no. Nooooo**

At noon, my grandfather played Angry bird. **I remember when I played that, too. *sniff*** This time it is not hit the pigs. We were hit the monkey down on the ground. It was funny. I like to play it. ***hides*** My grandfather did, too. I think it was the funniest game I have ever seen. ***dies in a hole***

Now, I have been hit the whole cage now. And help the birds out. So I'm done level 1. **Great. Just let me die now!** I was going to play level 2 of the angry bird. **Can we please, please, please talk about something else?**

And my grandfather look like an angry bird teacher. **Um. What?** Because he always say where I can hit the bird. He is very good to do it. ***kills self*** Because it is the first time he play angry bird. He even play now. **Well, now he's not. Wow, that sounded sad for some reason.**

CHAPTER 6: CLEAN MY NEW HOUSE **Well, this is gonna be fun...**

Today my family has to clean my new house. Everyone were excited. **Yay! Cleaning! What fun.**

We buy a lot of things in the store first. First is Walmart, then other, **XD** then Macy. But I didn't like it. It was boring. **Exactly my thoughts on this matter.**

Last, we has to clean out new house! It was excited. **Monster house! :O Here, doggy.** I like to clean it.

When I'm tired, I get out of my house and play in the backyard. **Yes, alone.** There were many sticky things stick to my little sock. **Where is this conversation going?**

Ah! I shouted. **Quotation marks.** There was a lizard! But I didn't see and watch it was a lizard or just some leaves. **Yay! Leaves, not leafes! You're learning!**

CHAPTER 7: LIZARD'S HOME IN YARD **I love lizards!**

Did everyone know that I have went to my new house again? **Well, I'm from the future, so yes. BOW DOWN TO YOUR MASTER** I have some interesting thing to tell you. **  
**

When we went to my house, my grandmother, grandfather, father **GODDAMMIT** mother walk to my little backyard. **Unnecessary adjectives.** Because we have to change the key and the lock. Because if someone else have the key, they will come to my house and take something out. **I remember back then, when I thought that I was going to be a bestseller one day and this diary will also be published. Well, you kinda got your wish...**

"Oh!" I shouted as I hurried in to my house. **Quotation marks! Yay!** "Oh" my mom yelled as she hurried into my house. **XD**

Finally, I found there was a lizard home in our backyard. Eeow! **No, it's cute! *cuddles lizards***

CHAPTER 8: THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

Today was the first day of school. And it is going to be great.

Today Samuel **-t** **hat was one of my friends back then** didn't came the playground. Because Sam didn't even come to school last week. **Oh.** He had to take lessen at resses. **That was horrific spelling.**

When I just came to America **just call it the US** I thought school was boring. Now, I thought school was fun and great. **Yeah, cliche stuff, moving on...**

The most excited thing is the teacher called me to show my work to my class. **That's... exciting.** The teacher look at my work, she see that I didn't do the question wrong too many. **Hooray!**

School was going to be great! **You said that a million times already.**


	4. Finishing Up On the East Side

**Let's finish this up, shall we?**

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CHAPTER 9: FUNNIEST PERSON: SAMUEL **Oh... no.**

I think Samuel is the funniest person in our class. But it is just what I think. **Sure.**

Today during ressece, **I'm just gonna do the names as numbers now, just in case** 1 was play at 2 and 3 and 4's place. 2 and 3 tried to tell to get out of here because he had predent to be a little dog. **What's happening?** He barked and barked. He chew and chew. **Um...** I was trying to be a cat! **Yay! Cat beats dog!** "Meow" I said. "bark" Then something happen. **What? *is wary*** 2 tried to run as fast as she can to chase us. "MEOW!" I screamed. **Oh, no. Just no.** Then we sat down.

MEOW! BARK!

CHAPTER 10: THE MATH PROBLEM

Today my mom said I was going to do math work sheet. **Oh, boo.** There were about a hundred problem. **Exaggeration, exaggeration.** Ordinary I would cried and cried. But today I do very well.

*derpy drawing of me doing math*

CHAPTER 11: THE EXCITED DAY: THURSDAY

Thursday was excited because the next day we will shopping at ***insert place*** and ***insert place*** and ***insert place***

(I can't remember what happen that day) **Ha... getting lazy, I see.**

CHAPTER 12: THE SHOPPING DAY: FRIDAY

Today was Friday, the shopping day.

First, we went to the ***insert place*** to buy food. Especially meats and vegetables. ***nods***

Then, I went to ***insert place***. We don't have to drive to there because it was near the first one.

After that, we went to the ***insert place*** , the nearest store of my home. **I've no idea what that means anymore.**

But I was excited is because we have to take these home! **Obviously.** We buy too many thing even we can't put them in the car. **Then put them on the roof!**

When I went home, we have to take the things. It was an apartment so we can't take those things straight home.

After all, I like Friday. **Thank God it's Friday...**

CHAPTER 13: THE BUSY DAY: SATURDAY

Today is Saterday, the busy day and the worst day. **Traitor! I love Saturdays!** We have to go to shops and buy furniture.

My mom chose and chose. **That's why you should never put your moms anywhere near a shop, people.** I sat on the sofa, waited for mom to said what she wanted.

But I was sad sat on the sofa. **My fingers are getting tired, by the way.** Wait and wait. Look and look. Chose and chose. We have to buy furniture for my new house! Almost new house. **Yeah, the "almost" thing.**

Finally, I was so tired I called my mom to go. My mom still look and look. I can't do any thing. **She has been cursed by the mall! Call the ambulance!**

Then my mom said I can play temple run on her telephone. **It's just phone, dummy. *shakes head*** But I can't do it. Because the phon it not like Ipad. **Correction: It's harder to play on a phone.**

I don't like Saturday after all.

CHAPTER 14: THE HAPPY DAY: SUNDAY

Today is Sunday, the happy day. Because my mom, dad **thank goodness** and grandmother have to go to the Target. **I remember when we used to go there.** And I will show you the pattern of Target:

*derpy drawing of that*

It is very funny. **No... it's not...** And some day, I'll see a dog with a Target pattern on his eye. **Whut?**

"BOO!" I said on that morning.

"LALALALALA!" I shouted. **Um, seizure?**

And I never have a Sunday like this, very excited. **Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! *bows***

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That was all I ever wrote.

When I found this diary (very ancient artifact), beyond this page, everything was ripped clean out.

It's sad. But it's what happens. When we get into my other writings, you will find that a lot suffered the same fate: got ripped out and thrown in the trash.

Yes, I was the one that did it. When I didn't know how valuable these truly are.

* * *

 **EVALUATION:**

Is it worth rewritten? No, because it's a diary.


	5. Da TALE OF ISABELLA

**Hey, Storm here, with another terrible (but cute) story for me to review!**

 **There were a bunch of diaries before this, but I consider them unimportant.**

* * *

Title: The Tale of Isabella (1) **I** **see, there is gonna be a sequel?**

Type: Story

Time it was written: Late 2012 or so

My writing skills then: Improved

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ONE

"Tick tock tick tock" **The clock is damn TALKING? :O**

Min opened her eyes. **By the way, the name "Min" was totally ripped off from another book.** She looked at her wooden clock. **Was that adjective really necessary?** 4 thirty. Too early to get up. It was a sunny morning **how is it sunny 4 in the morning?** in the spring outside **so it's not spring inside?** of the castle with streaks **great wording** of red, yellow, orange, blue **WRONG ORDER** green, and purple shining on the walls. Eccp ***sigh*** the inside of Min's small house as not that beautiful. **Sir, or madam, I think it's a madam, as gender changes in human beings are not common, if you are beautiful in the heart, who cares what your house looks like? *bows* thank you, thank you!** You see, Min was still worrying about her new baby. **Oh... No... Isabella?** There is much to do after the baby arrived. **Incorrect verb tense.** But the real reason why she was terrified was that all her sisters and brothers were coming to see. **By the way, this whole story is a rip-off of The Tale of Desperaux. I think it's how that's spelled.**

Well, there's many other things to do. But she got out of bed anyway. **So, she needed to do stuff, but she had to do stuff instead?** She crept to her husband's bedroom. **Um, stalker?** In her pajamas and opened the door soundlessly. **Yay! Using adjectives properly! *claps**

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I would want to review more of chapter 1, but unfortunately my baby brother is hogging the computer watching Tellitubbies or whatever. My fingers are sore from the iPad.


	6. Note: Must Read

**Dear Reader Who Reads My Fanfictions,**

 **I won't update again for... I don't know how long. No, it's NOT because I lost interest in writing, or this story. Quite the opposite, to be honest. I am currently writing a long writing project that I am hoping to publish. I'm pushing myself for a thousand words a day, and I won't have time for fanfics of any kind.**

 **I'll return when... That's when the hard part comes in. When the book gets published? Novelists writing fanfictions? It could happen, although I am doubtful. If they reject it, I'm just going to keep trying.**

 **In any case... Wish me luck.**

 **Sincerely,**

 **Storm**


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